Category Archives: Uncategorized

My ex girlfriend told me I couldn’t move in with her unless I got a gym membership and promised to work out with her at least three times a week.She bought me running shoes for Christmas. And almost a gym membership.It got so bad that I had to hide the fact I drank milkshakes evenContinue reading “Poke”

I dated someone who referred to me as their “side piece.” In front of me. To their friends. At a wedding they invited me to. -E.L.

I have ignored these red flags more than once:Actively binge drinking while insisting they’re not an alcoholicChronically underemployed or unemployed -E.S.

Oof. We’ll call him Pretentious Todd. Pretentious Todd waved red flags practically every day.Here are a few examples.I dated Pretentious Todd my freshman year of college. I learned later than our relationship was nothing but red flags. I was young and didn’t know any better.Pretentious Todd had a problem with being jealous of homework. YouContinue reading “Pretentious Todd”

I dated this guy who had, two years before, decided to kiss me without my consent. *facepalm* I was not ever enthusiastic about him. Red flags, people—don’t date someone you wouldn’t want to kiss!! -M.K.

My ex girlfriend vandalized my car by writing “DYKE” on the passenger side in Sharpie. It was very confusing to be hate crimed by your own gay girlfriend. I like to refer to it as The Great Dyking of 2013. It’s one of my favorite stories to tell around a campfire. -J.M.

My ex would regularly jizz into the top drawer of his desk. I guess he wanted to see how much jizz it would take to fill a drawer. I opened it once like … ??? !!! -A.L.

A girl I was dating let a guy friend of hers get a tattoo of him and her holding hands. At the time, I was dating her, monogamously… -C.L.

I dated a guy who loved his best friend’s kids a lot. He went to their dance recitals, brought over dinner, all of it. I thought it was sweet even though he prioritized them over me a lot. Turned out he was just in love with his best friend’s wife. -E.S.

A guy I was dating told me I was obviously not into him, and the relationship would be too one-sided, in an attempt to get me to fawn over him and convince him I did like him. He was successful. Boooooo to this man. -C.F.